Tina Overbury:  “I think as human beings we’ve become masterful escape artists, and it is costing us our connection to each other.”

I’m TinaO from TinaOLife, a new online hub launching in February 2016 (though you can sneak peek us now) designed to ignite your fire for life.  I’m an inspired entrepreneur, an authentic marketer, an artful speaker, and a soulful writer.  Oh yes, and I’m a full-time mom to three hockey-loving Canadian boys too.  My thrill is your (and my) Living Story.  It’s not just about identifying and marketing your core story, it’s about experiencing the heat and freedom of living it.

Describe your Mission.  What’s it all about for you?

I see (as do you) enough dead eyes, exhausted souls, and guarded hearts in the world as the old operating system of how we’ve been living collapses.  It can be terrifying to recognize that what used to work:  mega-systems, huge business, control, adrenalin, raising the bar all in the name of more, more and still more, simply doesn’t compute today.  Our efforts often don’t land anymore.  It’s a scary time for people who can feel the writing on the walls even if they can’t see it yet.  My mission is to awaken contentment on the planet by re-acquainting people with their innate wisdom, and walking beside them as they re-integrate their self using what I call their four engines of alignment:  Soulset, Skillset, Mindset and Body.  It’s very freeing to recognize that we needn’t escape to the soul (or energy) world, nor must we hide in the practicals (or realities) of life.  We can live in this physical world while connected to our soulful self.  It’s not only possible, it’s how we’re designed to be.  I image a world of tall poppies, each of us living to the heights and depths of all that we are, peaceful and content as the wind of life blows around us.

What is your ultimate dream for your business – your Mission – and where you’d like to take it? 

Crazy as this sounds… I will not stop until TinaO (yup that’s me) and TinaOLife becomes a replacement for our addiction to Netflix, video games, the news, adrenalin and all other stuff we get up to in order to hide from really living.   I aim to provide a place for people to go and trade their ‘hardness’, or ‘exhaustion’, or ‘despair’ for energy.  Just call TinaO, and TinaOLife your neighbourhood gas station for life-force energy.   

Describe what success looks like – complete fruition. 

TinaOLife will be launching using somewhat of a financial co-operative model in that all of our contributors will be paid from the profits generated by the work of the site.  Success looks like a living wage for TinaOLife’s contributors, all parties feel respected and their work honoured, and an audience who feels empowered to be the difference in their own life.  Imagine how different our lives would be if we didn’t rely on the expert industry to tell us who we are.  Imagine if we didn’t live our life by the next best ‘ten steps to whatever’ list out there.  Success looks like a business that knows what is enough is with a message that inspires the same in others too.   Success is a perpetual motion machine because we’re not looking for more, we’re being who we are and what is needed instead.  

Describe your success strategy in one sentence. 

My strategy:  Dear Tina, always, always, always move in the direction that is peaceful.  My explanation:  There are many forks in the road, lots of cross-roads in our future and many decisions to be made.  That’s life.  That said, confusion and indecision is completely self-made.  When we listen to our innate wisdom by leaning into what is peaceful, decisions make us and not the other way around.  There is no personal conflict in the truth, and that’s peace.  

Biggest highlight in your career/journey thus far? 

Launching the Live Your Best Story workshop on a gut-knowing that it was right and then seeing afterwards that I was right.  It was the first time since I was a child that I simply leapt without shame or fear about it.   Making the decision to launch LYBS was my first conscious experience of ‘listening so as to lead’, and it started a ball rolling in my life that has changed everything:  my marriage, my business, my parenting and my health.  

One thing that you feel has been most pivotal or useful thus far in your career/journey? 

Curiosity.  It wasn’t curiosity that killed the cat, it was comparison.  Curiosity has been my life-preserver, my passport, my church, and my medicine.  

How would you describe what brings you the greatest joy in your current role?

Home, and I’m not talking about my house although that’s certainly part of it.  I’m talking about ‘feeling’ at home, ‘being’ at home, and ‘knowing’ my home and ‘resting’ at home.  That brings me my greatest joy.  It’s the well-spring that fuels all that I am and reminds me that I belong. 

What  would you like women to most understand or consider – on a higher level – with regards to your role and your mission.

Given I just asked What is My Mission? as my birthday question to the powers that be, this comes at the ripest of times for me!  I always ask a question on my birthday because my belief is that we are the most connected to ‘the Source’ of where we come from on our birth-day.  It’s the day to ask the big questions, and so I do.  This is the answer that came:  I’m here to show, teach, help, and lift by example – what it means to LIVE in the physical realm.  While we are souls who live in a body, vibrations that connect only because we say so, and have spiritual paths and gifts and genius and passions and, and, and… while all of the above may be true (and I’m not saying it’s not), it is the physical realm of living that allows our spirit to be here.  

I am here to connect people’s feet to the earth, our hands to the soil, our soul to a path, and our passions to a purpose.  We’d rather live in the concepts of being alive rather than actually being here.  So we end up choosing to either live by the tangible via: Seeing is Believing, or the opposite, the intangible via: Believing is Seeing, and I’m here to say that both are true.  I’m here to help people find their peace with living in this physical world.  It’s the one place where we all connect.  

Best advice you ever received

My mom:  Remember what you’re worth.

My friend:  Lean in to what feels peaceful.

My therapist:  As long as you’re on your path of what is true, everything else takes care of itself.

An author (Mark Helprin – Soldier of the Great War):  Let no mystery confound you into the conclusion that mystery cannot be yours.

What would be your top three tips for women regarding ‘walking their talk’ and a courageous approach to what they most value.

#1 – If you’re not walking your talk, then perhaps your talk isn’t yours to tell.  You will organically walk your talk when you know yourself.  Stay curious and never settle for someone else’s life as yours.

#2 – Do you really want to come back and repeat this life’s series of lessons?  Momentum moves forward catapulting you into new heights, and it also moves backwards dragging you further behind from where you started from.  You’ll experience both – that’s life – but why not fan the flames of growth?  You can grab the wave or let it crash to rocks and wait for another one.  Choose.

#3 – You’re not really all that important.  Well, you are, but if you think you are, you’re screwed.  Leap.  Stretch.  Question.  Say.  Many of us are blessed to live in North America where we have the luxury of living fully out loud.  I suggest not squandering this opportunity by believing you’re entitled to it.  

How do you balance between being an impactful community leader, a busy wife & Mom, volunteer and so much more without dodging your own self-care?

Once I decided that I wanted to know who I am, what works for my rhythm, my body, my psyche, and my soul… everything just fell into place.  Balance is like fairness, it’s personal and unique to each person.  Fairness isn’t 50/50 or everyone gets the same.  Fairness is recognizing what is needed, truly needed (and not our idea about it, but rather their’s) and then giving it.   Balance is the same.  It’s deeply personal and it shifts and adjusts based on the person.  I see balance as aligned living and self-care isn’t a job, it’s a way of life.  All of what we do and how we do it is an extension of who we are and is therefore self-care.  Serving my community is self-care, so is parenting, so is leadership and my work.  It’s all self-care when it’s aligned with who I am here to be.  

You must have some pretty long days.  How do you keep your energy up and your focus consistent?  How you stay PowHERful and on the top of your game? 

Having just come through cancer treatment, my entire operating system has changed.  My brain seems to be wired differently.  My body asks for different things.  My psyche has new edges, and I can hear my soul-voice so much louder now.  I don’t even try to keep my energy up but rather I feed my body what it needs.  I don’t worry about my focus anymore, I simply work when I have it and I don’t when I don’t.  It’s stupidly simple isn’t it?  

[Editor’s note:  My absolutely favourite part of Tina’s PowHERhouse Portrait.  Thank you for your honesty and level of detail.  We so badly need to hear this – at this level.  My ASK for 2016 is that women get to know ourselves at this level.  Listen, learn and understand what you truly need to operate in your greatest powHER.  We’re redefining it, and Tina is being bold.  We are who we’ve been waiting for.  Much needed.  Thank you!]

Here’s what I’ve come up with by operating this way:  My body likes cream, veggies, less wheat, no sugar, organic wine only, and decaf coffee.  My body likes to sleep at 9 pm and get up at 6:30 am.  My psyche doesn’t function very well after 6pm, and if I’m honest with myself, my mind starts to think in circles around 3 pm – that stinks for an achiever like me – but it is what it is!  I’m a crappy parent from 3 pm-6 pm if I’m working, so it’s best to just stop and be more re-active rather than ‘drive’ and agenda at that time.  It’s not a good idea for me to be behind the wheel after 6 pm, though I can do it if I must.  Crazy right???  Why is that we keep living with this notion of ‘at capacity’ or worse, ‘expanding our capacity’?  Oh my gosh… how about we learn where our ‘enough’ is, live ‘up’ to that, listen for our rhythmical boundaries and build our home there.  

What would you say your Top 3 Excellence Habits are (ie. habits that ensure your success).

1. Respect the body because without one, none of your excellence matters.
2. Listen to your soul’s story, so you can live your life by personal design.  It’s wayyyyyy easier to just be who you are than to deal with all the snags and friction caused by being who you’re not.
3. Say you’re sorry.  We’re human beings which means we fuck up.  Apologies connect us, nuture trust and build longevity.  

Describe your Top 3 Time Management Tips as they relate to your Mission.

#1 – Always work to the rhythm of your best work.  For example, if you’re more creative in the morning, then that’s when you create.  If you’re more logical after 10am, do your paperwork then.  Stop fighting who you are and starting working to the way you’re wired.

#2 – Get it out of your head and onto the page and NOT so that you can get more done.  Oh god no.  Rather to allow your brain and unconscious mind more space to solve the problems and tasks that your logic can’t yet.  It’s like our immune system.  When we load our body up with toxins and sugars and alchohol etc., our body gets so busy dealing with all of that junk that it can’t take care of the flu that is coming on.  Our brain and our consciousness function in a similar way.  Dump the to-do-list onto a page, work the list, and let your brain solve the problems.

#3 – Do 1 to 3 things / day (3 max) that are yucky.  You know, the stuff you don’t want to do.  Do them when they GIVE you energy and not when they zap it.  Some days I have things to do that drag me down.  Some days I start with them and other days I don’t, but I always do them (well, I do now).  I let my body tell me when to lead and when to follow.  

Describe collaboration and what the looks like/feels like on the ground – how does it show up in your life?

I hit this cross roads over my birthday too.  I was sitting with the question:  How do I do my best work?  Do I tell the story (drive my agenda), or do I let the story tell me (follow the creative process).  The truth is, I can do both, so I was struck with, what feels the most peaceful?  How am I designed to be?  Most of my life I have driven an agenda and have achieved much success that way, but to far less fulfillment.  Collaboration shows up for me as I let the story tell me instead of the other way around.  I believe in God, though I couldn’t tell you what his/her/its name is.  I believe in the partnership of our physical self walking hand-in-hand with the universe/God and that energy is the fuel for our soul’s journey.  Collaboration is the way that I live now.  Sometimes it’s more obvious like sitting on the board of a non-profit, or running Live Your Best Story with three other women, or starting my website TinaOLife as a collective, and other times collaboration is less obvious and and more personal.  

Describe a favourite hobby or adventure.

I freakin’ love road trips.  I’m at my best with a pair of hiking shoes, a back pack, notebook and my husband.  God bless this dude who tirelessly listens to all of my wonderings.  

Favourite energy meal or snack (healthy).

Home made granola:  almonds, coconut, cashews, sesame seeds, dates, oats, raw honey and whatever other nutty things I have kicking around… It’s so satisfying and feels like a treat!  Oh yeah, and I have this obsession with Agassiz’ Canadian Hazelnut farm’s chocolate spread.  Oh my.  Healthy and ridiculously addictive.  I eat it cold and straight out of the jar (just a few spoonfulls!).

Favourite indulgence or treat.

Butter Chicken, Fettucinni Carbornara – basically anything with cream.  Oh boy….

Top 3 things on your Bucket List.

1. Theatre Season in New York every fall after my kids are grown.  
2. A year of Film Festivals around the world.
3. A bicycle tour across France

What does giving back (fulfillment) look like to you?

I’m going to be a bit radical here, I propose ditching the idea of giving back altogether and simply moving forward with the idea of giving as I go.  In fact, as I live I give.  As I do for me I do for you.  There’s freedom in not  having to look back because as we move forward in an integrated way, there’s no need to.

I never leave home without my…….. 

My phone.  Gosh, I wish that weren’t the case.  I’m strongly considering a year of ‘opting out’ – and I’m not suggesting that I want to explore some hard-core way of life by opting out of every convenience, rather, I’m looking at the unconscious ‘opt-in’ choices I’ve made that really aren’t necessary.  For example, our cell phone bill is $330/month for three phones.  Hmmmm…. really?  How insane is that?  How is it that less than 15 years ago a family had a monthly phone bill of approximately $35/mth? (I know, answering machines and pagers only but still…).  I can feed my family of five for a week on that.  It’s ludicrous.  Is this really the cost of living, or have we as a family opted into a lifestyle of more, more, more.  When is it enough?  When do we have, enough?  Wow… that’s a longwinded way of saying I never leave without my phone.  Yeeeeesh.   

Your thoughts on mentoring young women?  What do you feel your most valuable lessons to pass on are? 

I don’t think young women need mentoring at all, they need applause.  I think we need to fan the fire of potential that is so inherently alive in young women.  Women in their mid-30’s and 40’s need mentorship because it’s a time of crossroad after crossroad.  Young women just need our enthusiasm for their potential.  The lessons I would pass on are words from my mother:  Remember what you’re worth – which is a lot.  Make all decisions from that place and you’ll be just fine.  Stay truthful.  You are perfection exactly as you are.  

Where do we go from here in terms of supporting and inspiring women to step-up and continue moving forward with their missions… regardless of how hard it may feel at times.  #confidence  #courage  #connections #capital

I wish that inspiration wasn’t needed.  My wish for every person reading this article is that they recognize their story and know that it’s theirs to live.  It needs no extra energy, no magic wands, and no divine touch from above.  It IS you, and you are and have everything it takes to live it.  Stepping up is not up at all, it’s forward, and it’s not away from yourself, it’s in to yourself.  It’s your true story.  Listen for your mission, it’s the silent partner that has never left you.  In fact it’s probably patiently waiting, or even begging you to listen.  Trust it.  It’s yours to live.