“Negotiation” is one of those words that can engender fear and stress. It conjures images of long, dark boardroom tables, Armani-suited warriors, and reams of paper requiring signature after signature.
The truth is that negotiation happens in all kinds of situations, each day, and often doesn’t require mahogany. If you have children, or have spent much time with them, you’re an experienced negotiator. If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship that outlasted the “honeymoon” period, you’re an experienced negotiator. If you’ve ever made a purchase at a flea market or garage sale, you’re an experienced negotiator. But are you negotiating powerfully?
Powerful negotiation isn’t about “getting one over” your opponent. It doesn’t come from secrecy, lying, or bullying. The core of powerful negotiation comes from a desire to collaborate.
Put Feelings Aside
Putting emotions on the table is rarely useful in a business negotiation. If you’re bringing your baggage, packed with fear, insecurity, anger, and ego on this trip, your likelihood of success is significantly reduced. Start from a trustful, confident place, and keep your discussions results-oriented.
Do Your Homework
Know the other side. Understand what their weaknesses and strengths are, and really get to know why they are even involved in this negotiation. Are you able to fill a gap in their lives? Are you able to help them capitalize on their strengths? What is motivating them to negotiate with you?
Show the other party respect and understanding. This creates trust, and encourages reciprocal behaviour.
Understand Yourself
Regardless of what you are negotiating, you have a point when you will walk away from the table – and that’s okay. Know what your walk-away point is, and know what you will do if this negotiation doesn’t work out in your favour. What are your other options? What’s the worst outcome? Prepare yourself for things not working out, and how you will handle them. This takes a great deal of pressure off of the outcome, and increases your confidence.
Know why you want this negotiation to work out. Do the same homework on yourself as you did on the other party. What are your strengths and weaknesses? What are your motivations? What are the upsides and downsides of this collaboration for you? If you haven’t done a S.W.O.T. analysis on yourself and your business, now is the time to start.
Know what you are willing to give up to complete this deal. What is your end game? Remember that both parties will have to give. What will make you 80% happy with the outcome?
Be Honest
You may have concerns about this negotiation. Share them with other party (tactfully!). Honesty begets honesty. They may come back to you with information and ideas that will help you put your concerns aside. They may not, and you may have to walk away – which is actually just fine. At least you didn’t waste time dancing around the subject.
Aim for a Win-Win
If you have a clear understanding of yourself and the other party, of how this collaboration will benefit both of you, and possibly lead to future collaborations, you’ll be able to devise a result that makes everyone happy. Hopefully, it makes everyone money as well.
My lifelong business mentor (honesty: it’s my father), who is incredibly powerful in negotiating deals, often reminds me that when business is done well, everyone – especially competitors – are working together towards a place where everyone wins. War is the result of small, short-term thinking. Sustainable business starts with strong, trusting relationships, and strategic partners who understand that working together wins over fighting, regardless of what side you started on.
