PowHERhouse mommas fascinate me! Somehow, strong mothers balance moving forward in their lives with their personal and professional goals with ensuring their self-care requirements remain a priority and keeping their kids and their needs at the top of their lists.
It’s not that they think they’re Superwoman, but when I asked them if mommy-hood meant sidestepping PowHERhouse status, they all agreed, “No way!” They did say it requires things to be done differently, so I decided to dig a little deeper. I hope you enjoy this interview with four PowHERhouse mommas as much as I enjoyed writing it!
AK: I think being a solid mom requires me to embody what it truly means to be a PowHERhouse woman. I’ve been blessed with an incredible daughter, who inspires me everyday to remember to be curious, compassionate, and always improving. It’s important to me that my daughter sees me grow in a demanding career, excel in higher level education, explore global cultures, volunteer in the local community, and be a kind and helpful person, while being her mom and making time for fairy/spy adventures, baking crazy cupcakes, and figuring out the best way to build a stuffed animal megatower.
MSt: You soon come to realize that you are a hero in this little person’s life, and everything you say and do is witness to them. My goals are now even more important because I want my daughter to watch, learn and grow from my example. Wearing many hats is what all working mothers do, but staying strong and physically fit, eating properly allows us to wear those many hats as best we can. When I workout, I’m focused on that goal. When I’m being a mom, I try my very best to stay present with her in those moments so she knows she is my top priority, and when I’m working, I try to
remember everything else I have to do. It’s a juggling act but wanting it all requires that.
MSw: Realistically, priorities do change when you have a child. Children become one of the most important things in your life. But for me, maintaining self-esteem, a sense of self, and a sense of nurturing self are vitally important, all of which I maintain through being physically fit and physically active.
MR: While I don’t think it means sidestepping my status, I agree that things have to be done differently. Multitasking has always been an important skill and now even more so!
Time for You: How and when do you find the time for YOU? How do you keep yourself a priority when you are pulled in so many directions? Do you have any useful ‘success strategies’ that other mom’s might find valuable?
AK: I compartmentalize my days to ensure I allow time for everything that I want to get up to in a day. I make To Do lists for the day, the week, and longer-term. When I’m about to make a new list, I make sure I review the last one, so that I can carryover any goal or activity that I have yet to complete. ‘Me Time’ includes things like reading, gardening, working out, baking and cooking. I love any and all of these activities, and over the years I’ve integrated my daughter into each of these things in various ways. For example, one of my favourite things is working out when my daughter is with me. An hour is a long time for a 5-year-old to wait for her mom to be done, so she’s drawn a number of cheerleading signs and other pictures, and she jumps around me, cheering me on. “Go, Mom, go!” It really is the best way to workout! The by-product is that she and I often talk about being healthy and active, and it’s become a point of pride for her that “We’re healthy girls, right mom?”
MSt: I aim to workout at home three or four days per week. I find that when I get up in the morning a good hour before my daughter does, I’m able to think more clearly about the day ahead. I’ve had time for my cup of tea and to gather my thoughts so by the time she wakes up, I’m all set to go. I do not watch any TV, and I try to limit the amount of wasted time spent on social media sites that can steal your time and energy without you even knowing it. I find by eliminating those two things and using my time effectively after my daughter goes to bed, I can spend some ‘Me Time’ reflecting and planning to feel like my life and goals are fully aligned.
MSw: In order to maintain a fitness regime, I needed to be creative and savvy with time management. It is not uncommon for me to get up at 5 am while my daughter sleeps so I can fit in a workout in my room. I sometimes sneak in a workout when she is at pre- school or get her riding her bike or scooter while I run. We head to a playground, and I
do some cross-training while she has a play. This keeps us both happy and active. I consider ‘Me Time’ my workout time. Whenever I can fit it in, it is release of stress, and it rejuvenates me.
MR: It is a fine balance between self, family and spouse time. I have always used exercise as ‘Me Time’, and made this a priority right away. My husband and I agree that we both need ‘Me Time,’ and it was discussed and agreed to again as soon as we knew we were pregnant.
When you ask your kids what they want to be when they grow up, what’s their answer? Do you
remember what you wanted to be at their age? How do you think confidence plays into raising a
healthy child?
AK: My daughter recently proudly announced she wants to be a scientist when she grows up. I think that building a child’s inner confidence is one of the most important jobs for a parent. I know that essentially my role is to help my daughter develop independence, and in order for her to do this and experience success in life, she needs to be confident enough to take reasonable risks and integrate new information. I also know that self-doubt can create unnecessary difficulty in life, and a lack of confidence can make us miss opportunities. I believe that an important partner to CONFIDENCE is COMPASSION, and I try to consistently link these two together for my daughter (and myself!). It’s great to be confident and self-assured, but it’s often a wasted sentiment without an understanding of how our choices impact those around us or how other people are experiencing life.
“In this way, confidence obviously isn’t something I can just give to my daughter. It’s an inner strength that emerges over years of thoughtful choices, intelligent risk-taking, and a commitment to humility.”
MSt: Although my child is still quite young, I want to continue to encourage her to think that whatever she wants to accomplish she can most certainly accomplish. I want to encourage her to have her own dreams and goals so she learns the importance of goal-setting and putting a plan together to achieve them. Setting goals, sharing them and taking action on them are important steps in building confidence. I think the process helps kids to instill values of self-discipline and empowers them to grow into confident adults. I believe the other key of raising confident children is to let them know that failure is okay and natural part of our journey. There are many opportunities for us to develop and nurture our children. Trying is a fundamental part of learning, and if and when they fail that’s okay too. The important thing is that they continue to keep trying.
MSw: My daughter wants to be an astronaut, builder, teacher, nurse, and a chef (grin!). She has been a very independent and patient child, wanting to do everything on her own and will sit for as long as it takes her to accomplish the task at hand. I tell her every day how clever she is, give her praise on tasks that she does, and make sure that
she knows that if she makes mistakes it is ok because the next thing will come that much easier. Every night we tell each other what we were thankful for that day. Acknowledging the things she does with positive feedback is the best confidence builder. I make sure that I reinforce that she can do anything she wants to do.
MR: My daughter has expressed wanting to be a farmer. I encourage her to reach for any goal she has with two feet forward, whether it be reading more, excelling at a sport or winning at a habit she is trying to break (like sucking her thumb). Positive affirmation and encouragement in all fields is what I can attest to.
Lessons Learned: What are some of the most valuable lessons you’ve learned that you’d like to
share with other moms who may be in the middle of all this and trying to find their footing?
AK: There IS time for everything. It’s just a question of honestly examining the priorities we’ve activated in our lives. I’ve never been happy being a cog in the wheel, so I demand a high level of achievement from myself in all areas. At different times of my life this has meant more time goes to work, family, working-out, travelling, whatever. But ultimately, I accept that I am in charge of how I craft my life and what I demonstrate as priorities through my choices.
“And, sometimes, when I’m exhausted and crushing up on a deadline at work, and lunches are not yet made, and my daughter wants a snuggle, and I haven’t checked my personal email all day, and all I want to do is hide in the basement, I’ve learned to cut myself some slack, figure out what has to be done, what can wait, and allow myself to take off my Supermom cape for a bit. Sometimes those difficult days require junk food and movies. I’ve learned that sometimes, other stuff can just wait while I have a hang out session with my daughter. There is time for everything.”
It’s important to balance the present with the future. I neither live entirely in the present moment or in the future. I am constantly imagining and planning for my future years, and at the same time, I’m making sure that I have a bit of awesomeness in everyday.
Setting goals, writing them down, and telling them to other people is a way to keep
moving toward them. Accountability to other people can be a valuable motivator, whether the goal is personal or professional.
MSt: “Never let your reason Why become your reason Why Not.” This really resonates with me because as a mother it’s easy to get over-consumed with your child’s life, their needs, and just trying to survive in that mode. I think what is key for me is evaluating and staying true to the kind of mother that I want to be for my daughter and the image and role model I want to portray for her. If I tell myself that I can’t do something because of my daughter then I’m allowing the very reason for doing it to stop me from doing it. Take care of yourself physically to be a happy person
When I don’t, my confidence is low and can’t find the energy that I need. So although mommy-hood is full of rewards and a gift in itself, it doesn’t mean that we are required to give up on all of our own personal goals and dreams. Think outside of the box and try different things I want my daughter to know that I sacrificed things to go after my dreams, and its okay if she wants to do the same thing. There is never a day that goes by that she doesn’t hear how much I love her, and I think the best gift I can give her in these early stages is to have her watch me take care of myself and to genuinely and fully love myself.
MSw: Exercising patience. I’ve learned to exercise my patience from my daughter. Whenever I mess up and am on
the verge of screaming out loud, she always looks up at me and says “It’s okay mama, no problem…” We need to remember that we can learn so much from our children. I’ve learned to give gratitude each day, forgive myself and love myself first. Only then will you have loads of love and forgiveness for others, and this will in turn bring an
abundance of love and forgiveness into your life!
MR: Enjoy each step, each stage, each process and don’t forget to take time for yourself, and don’t feel guilty for wanting to!
Setting an Example: I believe the most important role of a parent is to set an example to their kids. Kids learn by what they witness and observe. How you are in the world, how you think about and care for yourself, how you interact with others, is being sponged up by the ‘little people’ in your life. Many parents say one thing but live another. What are the most important lessons you are working to teach your children, and how you are currently living them as an
example?
AK: Say “yes!” whenever possible. As a parent to a pre-schooler, I get a lot of requests from her during a day for practical and ridiculous things. I committed from the start that I would say “yes” whenever I could, and have a good reason for saying no when I felt it was necessary. This approach helps keep me on my game and lets her know that she is
valuable and interesting and that I want to support her in exploring the world. I’m realistic about my own energy levels and what other commitments we have to meet, but saying “yes” has allowed me to share amazing experiences with my girl like planting licorice in the garden, building outdoor forts to spy on dragonflies, and doing our grocery shopping as a pair of robots.
Ever asked a deli worker for “200 grams of smoked chicken breast” in a robot voice?
It’s a pretty awesome way to get through the shopping list.
MSt: Take Care of yourself
Exercise is a priority for me, and she has watched me take time out of my day to get a workout in. She often gets beside me and starts to mimic me so I can only hope that she picks up this healthy habit.
Be true to yourself
To be true to herself and don’t change who she is for anyone. Young girls need strong positive role models in their lives now more then ever, and I feel wholeheartedly that this is our responsibility to be strong, confident, healthy mothers and role models for our children. In my opinion, there is absolutely no reason why we can’t have it all!
MSw: Exercising patience which I learned from my daughter
Positive, healthy eating habits
My daughter knows all about ‘super foods’ and organic foods. She loves most food and is keen on trying anything. She knows that treats are for special occasions not an everyday expectation. I want her to have a healthy body image so we talk about what she loves about herself. Her answers are very funny, so simple and honest.
MR: Enjoy time for yourself. Enjoy time with friends. Be polite and respect others.
PowHERhouse Momma bios:
Ainsley Krone splits her time between a successful career in communications and research, and being the solo parent to an amazing five-year-old. Ainsley is equal parts mischief, ambition, confidence, compassion, and humour, and knows that the key to happiness is sometimes found while walking backwards in yellow gumboots.
Martine Street builds micro franchises involving Telecom, Energy and Banking. She is passionate about people’s stories and loves to pursue a diverse imagination and impact lives. Martine is a mother to an incredible 4-½ year old daughter.
Michele Swatton is a single full-time mom and part-time student studying Holistic Nutrition. She is training for her first figure competition in November 2013. Michele has previously competed in triathlons for 22+ years. She has completed the Canada Ironman twice and several Half Ironman and Olympic distance races as well. Michele and her daughter spend much of their time together exploring and traveling.
Miranda Reece is a 41-year-old strong mother of two living in Vancouver. Having previously completed 4 Ironman events, and a past career in triathlon coaching, she now balances her time between her personal fitness, family and running the Diva’s Only run series. Life is good – with a little multitasking!
We’re looking at some powerhouse mamas indeed. I’m impressed! If only more kids had this kind of loving power behind them.