Tanis Frame | Decide to Thrive Revolution
Tanis Frame is a science-geek, soul-sister, thrive-catalyst, play-evangelist, world champion, and mom to two fierce young girls. She is also the powHERhouse behind the DECIDE to THRIVE REVOLUTION- inspiring women to claim the courage to live their lives in full colour.
Tanis is charmingly obsessive about discovering the science and soul behind what cultivates thriving in our lives and what gets in the way. She shares insights and wisdom from leading edge science, ancient and modern wisdom traditions, and thriving women, and translates them into ridiculously simple tools that radically transform the way you live. I was fortunate enough to recently attend Tanis’ inaugural ‘Mamma Gone Coastal‘ retreat, and also to have the opportunity to sit down with Tanis and dig a little deeper into what it’s all about for her.
Describe your Mission.
I’m on a mission to get women and their families thriving – to get them out of survival mode where life is relentlessly happening TO them – and create the life they truly yearn for. Because every woman deserves to shine… and it’s a hell of a lot more fun than survival mode!
Describe how you stay PowHERful and on the top of your game.
PLAY, I play every day, in some shape or form, and I’m trying to turn anything I have to do … into play. I remind myself as often as I can that the whole point is to have fun!
Describe what success looks like.
I love that you ask this – defining this for ourselves is the key to creating it! For me, success is to know who I truly am, what I’m uniquely here to be and do, then to be that with great love and a whole lot’ta fun and laughter, while sharing the journey with people I love. Yeah, that’s success to me.
Describe your success strategy in one sentence.
Decide to thrive! The longer version would be my ‘PLAYGROUND RULES’, which I’d never thought of as a success strategy, but that’s EXACTLY what it is.
One thing that you feel has been most pivotal or useful thus far in your career?
Being genuinely curious, and having the courage to follow wherever that took me.
Describe how you love to work with women. What’s your vehicle? What is the experience that you are hoping to create for the women that you work with?
I love to work with great passion and humour – this work is deep, but I’m not convinced we’re really serving ourselves by taking things too seriously. Laughter is powHERful stuff!
Whether I’m doing a speaking gig, PLAYshop, retreat or online program – I think of myself as an instigator and catalyst – I create opportunities for pause, play and reflection… really THEY do all the good work! There’s a magical synergy that emerges when you gather a group of women who individually and collectively are determined to thrive deeply in their lives, I’m just honoured to be along for the ride!
Best advice you ever received…
Questions vs advice – I firmly believe we have our own best answers and advice, so I’m ALL about asking really good questions. Two of the best questions I’ve been asked that were total game-changers for me were:
- What would you do if you didn’t have to tell anyone what you did for a living? That made me realize who I’d been living my life for…and it hadn’t been ME!
- How good can you handle it? – That one put me face-to-face with my own Upper Limit Challenge. I wasn’t convinced that I DESERVED it all that good… so I was carefully engineering staying small or struggling somewhere in my life. I’ve come to believe that our lives are going to be as good as we can handle it!
What’s your favourite topic to speak on? It sounds like you are quite a storyteller! Do you have a speaking experience or memory you’d like to share?
I love to riff on how transforming our relationship with ourselves can radically transform not only how we get to experience our lives, but also transforms how we show up in the world and the impact we have. Radical self-care can become the greatest love affair of our lives, and THAT I believe it is the central catalyst to being truly powHERful in our lives and in the world. (powHERful!)
Last Fall, I had one of my favorite speaking experiences at Leah Goard’s Soul and Strategy Retreat – I was honoured to speak at the evening of Insight and Inspiration… and about an hour before the talk I threw out my plan and started crafting a new speech… not something I would necessarily advise but in this case it turned out shockingly well! (phew!) I shared my story of surfing… not because I’m a good surfer – far from it– but because surfing has taught me a whole lot about myself and about how to thrive in life. How to chose the right wave and to ride it with power and grace, and most of all, how to have the courage to paddle back out, even when it scares the crap out of me!
That also happened to be the day the DECIDE to THRIVE REVOLUTION was launched in my heart… memorable day for sure… starting a revolution and all 😉
We are currently planning our upcoming PowHERtalks Speaker Series for women. What would be your top three tips for a powHERful presentation and to courageous approach public speaking?
I am SO thrilled about PowHERtalks and can’t wait to be a part of it! 1. Be unapologetically YOU. 2. Share your story with your whole heart. 3. Talk about what sets your soul on fire.
How do you balance between being an impactful entrepreneur, a busy wife and mother and your own self-care?
Busy is a state of mind, and I think one of the most powHERful things we could do is to stop the glorification of busy – I’ve spent most of the first 40 years of my life being busy, but now I’m decidedly NOT busy, and when I start to feel ‘busy’ I know it’s a big red flag, and I need to pause, reflect, and realign.
For me, the key to the dance of balance is CLARITY. Be crystal clear on what matters most, then simply make darn sure THAT is what’s being made the priority. I say simply – sometimes it doesn’t feel simple, but really, it is. And it’s a practice, in the 1000’s of choices we make each day, choosing to be and do the things that truly make us, our families, our business, and our communities thrive.
There seems to be this assumption, especially amongst mothers, that we need to choose between serving others and creating something OR taking care of ourselves, and that’s ridiculous. The truth is that self-care is synergistic with everything else – it gives us powerful leverage for everything else we do.
What would you say your Top 3 Excellence Habits are (ie. habits that ensure your success)?
I love that you speak of habits, because that’s what they need to be. I’d say that I’m quite clear on what my excellence habits are in theory, but transforming them into solid consistent habits… well, that’s still a work in progress and THAT’s where the real traction is.
At a very high level, I’d say PLAY and DEVOTION. If I’m meeting my day-to-day with PLAY and with great DEVOTION then I’m going to be successful.
Then truly it is the little things: tickling my kids when they’re driving me mad, making my bed every day (my mom will be shocked!), drinking a glass of lemon water every morning, or saying thank you – not just being grateful for the big and little things, but actually feeling it and expressing it.
Describe your Top 3 Time Management Tips as they relate to your Mission.
I like to think of it as priority management, since that’s what I’m really managing, more than time. My favorite tool is STANDING DATES. When there’s something I want to do every week, then I make a standing date with a friend to do it. That way, there’s no organizing and planning every week (that’s what kills us!), it’s just there – every week. I’m committed to someone else, and quite frankly, sometimes being committed to someone else makes me much more likely to show up! Whether it’s a regular squash date or mountain bike date – I get my camaraderie, exercise, play, time in nature… that’s my kind of multitasking, and it’s automatic, zero planning required.
Describe collaboration and what the looks like/feels like on the ground – how does it show up in your life?
I’ve always been driven by and deeply curious about collaboration. Camaraderie is a core value for me. I did my masters degree on collaborative planning and conflict resolution. Heck even the sport I spent most of my adult life traveling the world to play was all about collaboration. I was an Ultimate Frisbee player, a team sport which at that time was played without referees even at the world championship level – so sportsmanship and integrity were paramount. We were even self-coached and led by a handful of player-coaches and captains. In my final gold medal match, not only was I a starting line player but I was calling the lines, literally deciding who of my teammates would sit on the bench and who would play. And I think, looking back at that victory, what I was most proud of wasn’t my own stats, or that we went undefeated the entire tournament, but that we’d won it as a team, with deep collaboration and exceptional performance as a unit. Every single player got playing time on the field in that gold medal win. Sure we could have tightened the bench and won the game, but that wasn’t our philosophy. Every player played because they deserved it, and depth rather than a handful of flaring egos won us that gold – that to me was fierce.
Describe a favourite hobby or adventure.
Mountain biking and traveling with my husband and our girls.
Favourite indulgence or treat.
Chocolate Ice Cream.
The last time I felt complete exhilaration or joy was …
Childbirth, winning my 2nd World Championship Gold Medal, getting good air in the Whistler Mountain bike park, and finishing MOMAR (Mind Over Mountain Adventure Race).
Your thoughts on mentoring young women? What do you feel your most valuable lessons to pass on are?
Don’t wait to live life according to your own rules, go and do what makes your heart sing, what makes you come alive – the world needs more people who have come alive!
Where do we go from here in terms of supporting and inspiring women to step-up and continue moving forward with their missions… regardless of how hard it may feel at times. #confidence #courage #connections
We are in this together. When we forget that, missions seem intimidating, even daunting. But when we remember- that we truly are in this together – then it starts to get really fun and begins to flow! It becomes passion-filled PLAY!
Just as Marianne Williamson describes, we need to give ourselves permission to shine, and by doing so give that same permission to all the women around us.
For me, the key to deciding to thrive in our lives starts with giving ourselves permission then making the choice to go for it! From there you’ve just got to trust and do what it takes.